中途半端

Now this is a very useful phrase. 中途半端（ちゅうとはんぱ）. If you remember, not too long ago we dealt with two words from this phrase 「半端ない」. Here, 中途半端 is used to express dissatisfaction or regret over a job not well done. The closest English equivalent is half-hearted or in the case of a slang half-ass.

Let's take a look at an interesting example. Dave's Japanese boss is expecting a full report on the effects of margarine mixed in honey lime juice and seal blood on the appetite of a desert survivor by Friday. Dave, who comes from the North Pole, could not in his life fathom what a desert is like, just made something up. Now, when his boss receives a half-page report about how a desert survivor would drink the concoction anyway, he would remarked 「デーブさん、これは中途半端な努力やな．．．」. In English, it would be "Dave, I hate to say this to you, but I think this is the most half-ass job I have ever seen in my life..."

OK, now you will be able to go out and express your dissatisfaction to customer service people, the newspaper delivery guy, and friendly neighbors in a natural Japanese way. New friends will be made today!

The ways to a man's heart

I would be lying if I told you that the stomach is the only way to a man's heart. I think there are three main channels to a man's heart. One is through his stomach, another through his eyes, and the last, well, make a wild guess. The first channel is actually a well known fact, and is the topic of this blog. The second has to do with us humans being creatures of sight, I mean we depend heavily on our sight in our daily lives. So it is only natural that we get pretty excited about what we see. Finally, the last channel, let's just say that it has to do with our biological reproductive urge.

While in Japan, all three channels will automatically shift into hyperdrive. But, let's limit this article to food for the time being. Having been deluged with a barrage of spicy food since young, my initial impression of Japanese food was that they were all pretty bland. Unlike tabasco sauce-laced pizza or a typical Szechuan steamboat affair, it is generally agreed that Japanese food does not assault our gastronomical senses. It takes time to get acquainted with and grow fond of Japanese cuisine. Recently, I am rediscovering Japan from a different perspective. Through its food.

I had yakiniku (焼肉) or grilled beef lunch today. Coming into existence into the Japanese gourmet scene only fairly recently as a foreign import, yakiniku is basically beef slices barbequed over open fire. There would be nothing much to say about yakiniku using imported beef, however yakiniku using wagyu (和牛) or Japanese beef need only be tried once to understand how mind blowingly delicious it is. The restaurant I had wagyu yakiniku this afternoon had the most perfect setting. Traditional Japanese music, antique decors and ambient lighting all served to heighten my mood for the feast.

Wagyu meat is tender and juicy even after being grilled well done. I don't know how true it is, but I once heard that Japanese-bred cows live a life of luxury, being served beer and massaged until all their fat disperse into the meat. In the past, only the rich and affluent could afford wagyu, but now with recent cost cutting measures hitting everywhere across Japan, even average Joes like me can afford a nice wagyu lunch. Still, a typical meal might cost 2-3 times what you would pay for an average lunch in Japan.

I truly enjoyed my lunch today. After I paid the cashier, and stepped out of the restaurant, I got a strange feeling that I just had my first out of this world experience. It was that astounding.

半端ない

"That's just unbelievable". How many times did you wanted to say something like that in Japanese but couldn't think of a better phrase. There's a neat phrase that sums up that feeling. And it's 半端じゃない （はんぱじゃない） or just 半端ない（はんぱない）.

So for example, when you see the Big Mac hamburger tower on the left, your first impulse might be to say, "Oh, my god, that's an unbelievably tall hamburger." In Japanese, you would say　「おっと！それは半端ないです」.

半端ない is usually used as an adjective. Stressing the absolute totality of word following it. An example would be 「彼は半端ないお金持っているね」， which roughly translates to, "He's has money beyond your wildest dreams". Put simply, 半端ない is 10,0000,0000 times more potent than the adjective "too".

So what the heck is that...

Can you guess what this is? Let me give you a hint; it's something that everyone uses. It's found at home, in hotels, on beds and sofas. Well, usually it is located under the head but it can also double as a bolster. Can you guess it by now.

Yes, it's a pillow. This pillow is actually made of rattan. So it might sound hard to sleep on. It's also super airy thanks to the loose weaves. I have never seen one of these in Malaysia, only recently in Japan. The first time I saw one of these was at a local hot spring establishment. After a nice dip in the hot spring, your hair is usually still pretty wet, so I think this kind of pillow must have been quite phenomenal before the the hair dryer was invented.

I had a go at it the other day, and it didn't feel as hard as I expected. In fact it was kind of springy. If you have tried a rattan chair before, you may know what I mean. Here's a picture of myself using one, while resting on the tatami area, right after a wonderfully therapeutic dip in the hot spring and steam bath room. It was heavenly to say the least...

Japanese Houses: Past, Present and Future

Japan is a country with many surprises. As I was driving around the Nara-Kyoto border the other day, I made a very interesting observation. Within a short driving distance, I was zipping past very traditional houses, yet moments later I was surrounded by ultra-modern homes. It was as if I was in a time machine and going back a few hundreds of years, back to ancient Japan. It was so amazing that I made it a point to go back and take some pictures of those places.

Past

Japan in the past was very much an agricultural country. With rice being the staple food, you can see rice fields every where. Houses here are made of wood and the flooring are often wooden planks and tatami straw. One peculiar characteristic of these housing estates are the almost impossibly narrow, steep and confusing roads running through them. Originally meant for pedestrians only, these roads are totally unsuitable for modern cars. So if you plan to get lost here, make sure you drop pebbles on your way in.

Present

After the second world war, the Japanese economy saw tremendous growth. This baby boom period brought with it the necessity for cheap housing communities. Hence, houses began to climb vertically. Many people stayed in these government housing estates called danchi (団地), while the more affluent society built their own houses. These houses form the landscape of many suburban areas in Japan.

Future

Occasionally while on the road, you may notice sign boards leading to new research parks. As you drive into these towns of the future, you will notice the vast difference between the houses here and those of the past. Roads here are wide and straight, and the atmosphere feels expansive unlike the stuffy layout of the Past. The designs of houses are very modern, and even the schools here look like some sort of art museum.

Here is a video I compiled using MS free Movie Maker. The program is actually pretty good for amateur video editing.

Valentine's Day in Japan

If you are in Japan on Valentine's Day, you might be surprised to find out that those cute and fancy chocolates that you see displayed prominently in supermarkets and shopping malls are actually meant for guys. I mean, here, the girls are obliged to give chocolates to the guys. Crazy as it may sound it is true, although my wife swears she will never get accustomed to this marketing ploy.

Every year, today, the girls will present something to the guys, secretaries to bosses, female colleagues to male colleagues etc. And yours truly did savior something sweet today, courtesy of the girls in the laboratory. Called the giri-choko (義理チョコ) from the words giri ("obligation") and choko, ("chocolate"), these gifts are meant for co-workers. What is termed as the honmei-choko (本命チョコ) are chocolates reserved for loved ones.

人間関係

つい先病院の検診受付に電話をしました。電話中、相手はもうちょっと親切に話していただいてもいいなと思っていました。正直、ちょっと驚きました。「これ、なんか国の公務員らしいじゃない？」と思いました。

しばらくして、落ち着いた私はこんな感想をしました。私は日本にいる時、気をつけながら、なるべく日本人らしくしゃべります。ま～、お願いがあるから、やはり声を下げて話すべきです。一方、先ほどの受け付け係はわざわざ外国人らしく話してあげるのではないかと思います。もっと深い意味が入っているのかもしれないが、例えば外人嫌うとか、滅多に本音が示されるとか、とにかくとても聞き辛かったです。小さいころから差別されてきた私は、日本に来てよかっただと思います。ところが、時々あまり親切に対応してくれない日本人もいるわけですね。

この経験について最初文句を言いたかったのですが、よく考えたら、結局人間は人間だから、人間関係は、国籍や習慣などに関わらず、どこでも同じだろう。諺にもあるように「郷に入っては郷に従え」です。即ち、日本にいる外国人は日本人みたいになりたがるケースが多いだし、海外にいる日本人は海外のことを馴染めるのは多いのではないでしょうか。それは人間関係だ。

Theft in Japan 2: a police story

note: This is a short story and is longer than my usual blog entries.

Sypnosis: My bike got stolen, and then found, albeit in pieces. A rather unexpected ending follows.

About the same time last year, I wrote about theft in Japan. Since then, I have had the most peculiar experience. What I had thought would never happen to me, occured right before my very eyes. I woke up one fine Sunday morning, and having had breakfast with the kids, proceeded downstairs to clean my car. When I had finished, I packed up and was about to head back to my apartment when I noticed that my bike is no longer where I thought I had left it the night before. "What the, where's my bike!", I cursed.

Immediately, I went into denial mode. This can't be happening. OK, maybe I had left it at the school parking yesterday and my wife brought me home, I thought. This is fairly common as I stay quite near my work place and sometimes my wife comes over and pick me up for dinner. But on second thought, I remembered clearly how I had parked my bike there and walked up upstairs yesterday evening. I slowly began to visualize what happened. I remembered vividly how I removed the ignition key, removed it, took off my helmet and stored in under the seat. And now, the whole bike is gone. Frantically, I began to search the neighborhood parking spaces. No luck. I talked to my wife and decided to make a police report.

At the neighborhood koban (交番), I pressed the intercom button and waited for a couple of minutes before the police officers returned from their inspection round. There were 3 officers that day, including one very cute lady officer who took my statement. Having satisfied their queries, I left and went home.

I was still reeling about what had happened that day when I received a call from the police in the evening saying that they have found my bike. I was more than elated. The time it took to find my bike, surely it must be a candidate for the Guiness World of Records. When I finally saw my bike, I crashed back to earth. Well, the police brought back my bike alright. In a few pieces that is. On closer inspection, I finally concluded that it would take me more time and money to fix it.

Over the course of the next few days, I was contemplating on what to do. I mean, I needed my bike to get to work. Without it, I felt like one leg was missing. Finally after suffering for 2 weeks, I decided to get a new used-bike. Although a little expensive, the new ride sure felt great. I brought the kids for a spin around the neighborhood ever careful of the watchful eyes of the law. Don't want to break the law in Japan by riding like a rural Malaysian family on a kapchai.

I had more or less forgotten about my unfortunate experience in Japan when I received yet another call from the police. This time, I was told that the thieves were caught and identified. I was told that they were minors, junior high school students. When I related this incident to the lady living upstairs, she mentioned empathetically that it was the work of some pranksters. Hmmm, I wonder how she was so sure about that. Anyway, the police asked me if it was OK for them to let the parents of those misguided kids about my contact number. I said it was fine with me. So, the next few days, I talked to the parents of the kids. Mentioning to them about how I myself is a young parent and how this was a new experience for me. I finally met up with them one evening, and together with the two young boys, they came pouring out words of apologies for what must have been 2 minutes but felt like 2 hours. And you know what, they prepared to compensate me with a BIG box of cookies (which I still haven't open yet) and some cash.

This episode got me thinking. I was a victim of 2 bicycle thefts in Malaysia. When my very first and favorite BMX bike was stolen I made a police report about it and cried my eyeballs out. The police officer who took my statement was pretty casual about it. Let me put it this way he said, "Why don't you study harder and hope that your dad will give you another birthday present". When my second bicycle was stolen, I was cool about it, told my mom that I had outgrown the bicycle and was ready for manhood. Then, Dad said that I can start taking motorbike lessons. He then passed me the keys for his very first Honda C70.

If you ever have your vehicle stolen, I am sure you can empathize with my story. I bet that you, just like me are surprised with the efficiency of the local police here in Nara. I am so filled with admiration that I wrote them and told them about it. Below is an excerpt of my feedback at their website.

この間とんでもないことが起こりましたので、ここで書かせていただきます。

去年、私の通勤用の原付が盗まれました。なにも期待しない私は近くの交番にとどけを出しました。そして当日の夜その原付が見付かりましたたという連絡がありまして、ちょっと驚いた。迅速な対応していただいた警察官に感謝した後にこのことを忘れました。

数ヵ月後突然警察から犯人が見付かったという連絡がありました。それは、さらに驚いた。国で２回でも自転車が盗まれた私は、そんなことは全然想像できませんでした。しかしこれだけではとんでもないこととは言えません。２週間前、少年の泥棒達２人の保護者の方は私に連絡してお詫びしました。そして２人の少年と一緒に私と会って、深く反省を示しました。

私は日本に滞在する期間は長くもないですが、ニュースや新聞で聞いたことにより日本の警察官に関してあまりよい印象しか残りませんでた。しかし、今回の経験によってそのイメージが全て消えて、日本の警察はとても素晴らしいと思います。大感服しております。これは警察の手本になるのではないでしょうか。

微妙

Let's take a look at another very useful Japanese word, 微妙［びみょう］. Literally it means, subtle, or delicate (usually of a situation). This word is used in daily conversation where a clear yes or no cannot be clearly distinguished.

Let's take a look at a few examples to get a feel for this word.

1. 微妙な違い or subtle difference. As in, there is a subtle difference between half full or half empty.

2. 微妙な感じ as in a strange feeling that is difficult to describe.

Once, a friend who was in the same Japanese class described a delicate hand in Japanese as 微妙な手. Here, it means, "somewhat like a hand." So instead of her intended meaning, it sounded like a description from an autopsy report. We all laughed, but learned a great lesson from this episode.

So, learn to use this word well and you will be surprised how natural your Japanese will sound.

To be, or not to be (assimilated)...

If you are a Star Trek fan, you may be familiar with the Borg expression, "You will be assimilated" or "Resistance is futile". The Borgs are a fictional race of cyborgs who goes about adding other species in the known universe into their own, in order to achieve perfection. And they achieve this through forced assimilation, a process which transforms individuals and technology into Borg, enhancing individuals by adding synthetic components.

Science fiction aside, I cannot help but draw on this analogy to the real world. Let's take a look at two very different situations.

1. Recently in Malaysia, there are increasing efforts in converting non-believers into Muslims (be they alive or dead). Overzealous parties are eager to "assimilate" people as one of them. Or do they? I shall not speculate, save to say that this situation is akin to hearing someone say, "If you're not with us, you're against us."

2. In Japan, quite the opposite is happening. The authorities and general public are grappling with two very grave problems; aging society and immigration. On the one hand, a country faced with an aging society needs population growth in order to power her economy and counter other instabilities. On the other hand, a country that has pride herself with deep traditions and customs is finding it exceedingly difficult to accept gaijins (外人) with open arms. Foreigners who have been working in Japan for years are totally bewildered by this fact, and finding out a sense of non-belonging living amongst the society here. Forward thinking immigration-based nations might find this hard to accept too. But, don't feel too bad, I am sure you will be consoled by these wise words, "if you asked me, I think them Japs are a lot of things, they just ain't no Borgs".

This reminds me of a recent conversation I had with a naturalized Japanese. This nice chap whose father is Korean and mother Japanese holds a permanent residency in Japan. He has a foreigner registration card just like every foreigner who is on extended stay in Japan. However, in all respect this guy IS practically as Japanese as any other "pure" Japanese friend that I know. The funny thing is he has two surnames, one Japanese and one Korean. So officially his name reads something like Yoshida a.k.a. Lee (吉田　コト　李). Because Japanese still cannot accept a foreigner with a Japanese name or a Japanese with a foreign name, he has to hide this fact from the world. I guess this is true anywhere else in the world. Being of Chinese-heritage myself, people might think I am a wierdo if I adopt a Bred Pid- or Mohamed Gundhi- sounding name. Not the mention the whole lot of confusion it will create amongst HR and immigration folks.

Anyway back to the topic of assimilation, I mean immigration. Recently, the Japanese government is beginning to relax their hard-line approach towards foreigners hoping to gain permanent residency here [1]. Let's hope that in the future, man can be united as one nation without borders. Perhaps not as unfriendly and unforgiving as the Borgs, but united in a sense that binds us as brothers and sisters with respect for each others individualisms.

[1] Eric Johnston (2008, Jan 26). Shaping the future as an immigrant nation. [Online]. Available: www.japantimes.co.jp

仕方がない

I would like to talk a little bit about a very useful Japanese expression today. Apart from the constant おはいよございます、こんいちは、ありがとうございます frequently used Japanese greetings, you might have heard of this all too common expression 仕方がない［しかたがない］ or 仕様がない［しようがない］.

I didn't fully understand this expression when I first heard it. However, by looking up a dictionary and having heard it in so many different situations, I think I have a good grasp of its meaning. Literally translated it means, nothing can be done, usually used by the speaker to imply futility in pursuing the matter further, and acceptance of the current situation as is. Let's take a look at a few examples to get a feel for this expression.

Let's say a 3 year old kid accidentally spilled milk all over the floor while pouring himself a glass. You might get a little angry at first, but what can you do over spilled milk right. Especially if the 1.5l milk carton is a little heavy for the 3-year old. So you say it's OK. In Japanese, you'd say something in the line of 「ま～、しかたがないな、片付けようか」. Literally means, "Well, let's not cry over spilled milk, so let's clean it up."

Let me relate a personal incident which happened last year at a local coffee shop in Ueno. It was raining since morning that day. Without an umbrella, it would be almost impossible to travel by foot. So, I went to a local convenient store and got myself a pretty good looking, and sturdy transparent umbrella. I then proceed to meet a friend for yakiniku in Ueno. After that we went to a coffee shop. I placed my new umbrella outside the shop, together with half a dozen of other wet umbrellas. I think my brand new umbrella stood out compared to the old looking ones there. One hour later, when we were ready to leave, I realized that my pretty umbrella was gone. The manager came out sensing something amiss. I told him some jerk just took off with my umbrella. Can you guess what he said. 「ま～、仕方がないね、適当に取ってください」 which translates to something like, "Well, there's nothing we can do, just take one that pleases you," mumbled the manager in a hush-hush tone. I left the shop with a beat-up umbrella, reminding myself to be extra careful next time.

Did you understand this phrase. Good, go and show everybody how immersed you are in Japanese culture by using it liberally in your daily conversation.

も～まんたい

In Cantonese this slang word means "no problem".

First temple visit of the New Year （初詣）

My 2008 Nara hatsumode pilgrimage

I performed my very first hatsumode （初詣） on the Jan 1, 2008. It was a very spiritually experience for me. Hatsumode literally means the first temple visit of the year. And every year, on New Year's eve, Japanese would flock in great numbers to their favorite temples to count down to the new year. However, recently, even sacred places like temples have to fight for attention as many younger generations are following western culture by celebrating the New Year at popular watering holes.

If you are in Japan, don't miss the great opportunity to open your eyes and heart by celebrating new year in a temple. Let me briefly describe how I spent my New Year's eve and the first day of the year. The map that you see shows Nara park （奈良公園） which is located towards the East of Nara city. There are many temples and shrines here, amongst them, the famous Todaiji temple （東大寺） which is said to be the largest wooden structure in the world.

① I alighted from the Kintetsu Nara （近鉄奈良） train station and worked-up an appetite for dinner by walking aimlessly around the station. There wasn't many places open that day, so I settled for an udon and curry rice set meal. Having had a very satisfying dinner, I walked East casually towards Nara park. It was 9 pm, and only a few people were scattered along the way. But the yatai were already lining the streets, ready for their customers.

② I reached Nigatsu-do （二月堂）, literally February hall, some 1 hour later. From its balcony you can have a bird's eye view of Nara city. There, I rested for a good half an hour before making my way down.

③ Midway between Nigatsu-do and Todaiji is a huge shoro （鐘楼） or bell tower. About 400 people were already lining up to strike the bell at the stroke of midnight. This was the highlight of New Year's eve. Waiting patiently for 1 hour out in the cold winter night was not something everyone would like to do, but the wait was worth it. If I remembered correctly our group was number #48, so about 376 people had already struck the bell. When it was our turn, 8 of us would pull big thick ropes that is connected to a huge tree trunk, not unlike a battering ram, and let go. The bell gave a resounding gong and we were all very pleased with ourselves. From there, I moved over to the Kasuga grand shrine.

④ Along the way, I had amazake （甘酒）. It's an alcoholic beverage made from rice and a little sweet. It tasted a bit like bubur charchar without the sweet potato. By now, the streets are already swelled with a crowd. It was begining to looks more like a summer matsuri （祭り）. There was a long line for Todaiji, so I decided to give that a miss. On the first day of New Year, I heard that the window pane that blocks the giant Buddha statue's head will be open to the public.

⑤ The line for Kasuga shrine （春日大社） was not short either. After a short detour to the surrounding smaller shrines, I made it into the grand shrine. But not before I got some more sake. It felt good to have hot sake in the cold winter. I finally understood why Russians likes vodka.

⑥ The grand shrine was pretty crowded. That's because instead of a box where you usually toss coins in before you pray, there's a big stage where. Also, people were lining up to get their fortune told. While you can also get your fortune told in temples in Malaysia, the amount that you offer is usually up to your own digression. Here in Japan, you pay a fixed amount. On that day, I had the option to pay 200 yen for a basic fortune, or 500 yen for what I think was a higher grade (better luck perhaps?). Anyway, I was quite lucky to get a good fortune, my very first omikuji （おみくじ）.

It was already 3:30 am when I reached home. I was spent but otherwise quite happy on the first day of the year 2008. So how did you spend your New Year's eve/day?

My fortune for 2008 looks pretty good (beginner's luck, perhaps)